Why We Turn to Cigarettes and Alcohol: Emotional Soothing and the Human Givens Model

Many people turn to cigarettes or alcohol not out of pure choice, but as a way to soothe inner emotional discomfort. On the surface, these habits may appear to be mere vices or social behaviours—but underneath, they often serve a much deeper emotional function. When viewed through the lens of the Human Givens approach, it becomes clear that such behaviours frequently arise from unmet emotional needs.

The Human Givens Model: Understanding Our Emotional Blueprint

The Human Givens model outlines a set of essential emotional needs that, when met in balance, allow us to thrive. These include the need for:

Security

Control (autonomy)

Status (a sense of achievement and competence)

Intimacy (emotional connection)

Community (belonging)

Privacy (time to reflect)

Attention (to give and receive it)

Meaning and purpose

When one or more of these needs are persistently unmet, people instinctively seek ways to feel better, even if only temporarily. Cigarettes and alcohol often enter the picture as quick, accessible methods to regulate emotional states.

Soothing the System: Why These Habits "Work" (At First)

From a neurological perspective, both smoking and drinking can temporarily change brain chemistry, dulling stress, numbing pain, and increasing feelings of pleasure or calm. They offer a short-lived illusion of meeting several emotional needs—such as control, comfort, or connection (especially in social settings). This pattern can become ingrained, especially when healthier strategies for emotional regulation are lacking.

The Early Blueprint: Thumb-Sucking and Emotional Regulation

Interestingly, this pattern of seeking soothing stimulation begins much earlier than adulthood. Many infants and children instinctively suck their thumb or fingers—a behaviour rooted in the comforting experience of feeding. Suckling during breastfeeding or bottle-feeding is not just about nourishment; it provides deep emotional bonding, safety, and contentment. When children suck their thumb, they are mimicking that early soothing state—a form of self-regulation.

Adults may not realise it, but when they reach for a cigarette or a glass of wine, the unconscious mechanism at play is strikingly similar. The hand-to-mouth action, the inhalation or sipping, and the calming ritual can echo those earliest moments of comfort. This creates a pattern match in the brain—a kind of emotional déjà vu—which temporarily reassures the nervous system that everything is okay.

When Needs Go Unmet

If a person’s environment, relationships, or internal thought patterns fail to support their emotional needs, their coping system looks for substitutes. For example:

A lack of security may lead someone to drink to “escape” anxiety.

Feeling a lack of control may drive someone to smoke as a way to feel grounded.

Absence of meaning or purpose can result in self-soothing through substances as a way to fill the emotional void.

A lack of connection might mean that a shared drink or cigarette becomes a rare moment of social intimacy.

Towards Healthier Regulation

Understanding that these behaviours are not just bad habits, but attempts to meet legitimate emotional needs, offers a compassionate and constructive way forward. Instead of judging or suppressing the urge, the goal becomes to:

1. Identify which needs are unmet

2. Find sustainable, healthy ways to meet those needs

3. Develop emotional literacy and self-soothing skills that align with long-term wellbeing

This is where therapeutic approaches like hypnotherapy, mindfulness, and lifestyle changes can make a real difference—by helping people reconnect with their emotional blueprint and regain control.